(Seeking advice) Getting a Thai girl pregnant

[chubbybastard]

Originally Posted by Oscar1325

Wow. That is scary man but then the girl is stupid. Shouldn't have show up. Should have contacted him and blackmailed. What does she gain by making him divorce?



I didnt CIP. I pulled out but ya not the safest. Any real life examples of your friends getting tracked down?

I don't know. I guess she must have tried blackmailing him and he ignored lo. So she play big and fuck him up real bad. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned goes the saying

[kurtis]

Originally Posted by Oscar1325

What do you mean by man up and take responsbility? you mean by telling my current gf? dont think that is exactly taking responsibility.

The thai girl wants to get back together with me. She mentioned quite a number of times. I even think she want to marry me if i am willing. what will you do? Marry her when you have absolutely no feelings? Is that what you mean by taking responsibility?

a lot of us are in loveless marriage. so what's wrong with your being in one?

what makes you think you won't end up in a loveless marriage too. is your now gf a gcp?

[Oscar1325]

Originally Posted by kurtis

a lot of us are in loveless marriage. so what's wrong with your being in one?

what makes you think you won't end up in a loveless marriage too. is your now gf a gcp?

not a gcp. but let's not divert here. the qns is not about whether i will be in a loving marriage but rather what would you guys do about the kid and the thai girl.

[benjm85]

Bro your gf deserve to know the truth leh. I know it is extremely difficult to tell her because likely she would likely call off the marriage. But it would be disastrous if the thai girl come knocking on your door with the kid few years down the road.

[0541774]

Originally Posted by Oscar1325

So a few years back, I managed to get a thai uni girl pregnant. She was 20 and I was 25. Granted, i didn't use protection that one time. It was meant to be a fling for me and not something long term so i was quite shocked and upset when she told me the news. My immediate reaction is to get her to abort cause idw to be a father, not with anyone.

So i talked to her and she said ok. I did the research and since it was still early stages, taking meds and pass it out can already. I flew over to thailand and ready to accompany her throughout everything. Turns out she changed her mind and no matter what, she not willing to go to the hospital. I was pretty upset and left her the money for abortion cause i had to flew back for work.

I was cold to her after that cause of her change of mind. 2 weeks after, she told me she had an accident and a miscarriage. I was very relieved but because of this whole saga, i lost feelings for her so 2-3 months later, i broke things off. That is when she revealed to me she didn't actually had miscarriage and say she want to keep the kid no matter i want or not.

I was very very upset. It felt like someone forced me to be a father but i know it is too late for abortion so i told her fine but i wont be a father to the kid. I will financially support her till she start working and can manage herself. So for the past few years, i have been transferring her money monthly but nv met her or the kid before.

Now, I am about to get married with my gf now and i cannot be transferring money to some other girl monthly when i am married. And no, my gf is not aware of this kid. So i am thinking of giving her one final lump sum and cut contact then.

What would you guys do? I feel that i have done more than what most men would do when they get their foreign flings pregnant which is to cut contact and disappear immediately. But deep down i know it is shitty to compare myself with these men and nv thought i would be one of them.

First step is to let your current gf know.

Second step is to let your Thai fling know that u have no interest in her, but will take responsibility for the kid.

Never ever cut off ties with her without doing step two. Thai girls are not to be messed with. They can do 'gong tao' on u and that is when u will be totally f**ked!

[Oscar1325]

Originally Posted by 0541774

First step is to let your current gf know.

Second step is to let your Thai fling know that u have no interest in her, but will take responsibility for the kid.

Never ever cut off ties with her without doing step two. Thai girls are not to be messed with. They can do 'gong tao' on u and that is when u will be totally f**ked!

I already told her that i am not interested. What is your take on responsibility? Continue to transfer money?

[WansudaPhow]

If I am in your position. I will continue this relationship. After all, you knew her for 4 years and at her prime age. If the maintenance fee is within your means. It is just how you do the communication to this mistress. Set the expectation and limit information you share with her. Something need to be strictly confidential or else you burn your ass.

[WansudaPhow]

I have this vietbu from countryside. I told her upfront this is a mistress position. As a guy, I think most of us want more women in life. Those wearing condom one really not shiok. It is very mechanical and lack of GFE.

I mean, it is your own preference. I opt for continue this relationship if I am in your position.

[Marmots]

First, go to thailand to see her and the child. Try to get saliva/hair(refer to dna kit for samples to collect.)

Come back and do dna test.

Need to at very least confirm it is yours before deciding on anything else isn't it ?

[Xgenre]

How much money are you transferring to her monthly? It's a $_ _ _ per month decision. Can sustain moving ahead?

The talk about your present gf is distracting you from the above financial consideration.

[WOOHOO]

Originally Posted by Marmots

First, go to thailand to see her and the child. Try to get saliva/hair(refer to dna kit for samples to collect.)

Come back and do dna test.

Need to at very least confirm it is yours before deciding on anything else isn't it ?

WOO UPZ 👍 👍 👍

[0541774]

Originally Posted by Oscar1325

I already told her that i am not interested. What is your take on responsibility? Continue to transfer money?

Of course continue to transfer..the baby is yours, take responsibility dude.

[sneakyslimy]

From an outsider point of view, after reading your story (only that one time no use protection, you having not seeing the kid before, the girls lying a few times of having a miscarriage and then asking for money), I would be very skeptical if the kid is even real and even doubt if its yours.

I would request the thai girl shoe me pictures of the kid and try to CSI the thai lady friend list to see if the kid is indeed hers or her friend's kid. If the result is non conclusive then the next step.

Request to meet her and try to grab some hair or tissues from the kid during the meetup to do a DNA testing like one of the bros above have mention. This will yield two result.

1. The kids is not yours - This is the best case scenario for you as you will have the upper hand. You can use the money you have sent over the years to negotiate a clean break up (i.e., go along the line that she have scam you). You can choose to either tell your fiancée or not. However, delete all trace of the thai girl and bank records. Make it such that you have never met this thai girl in your life. Even if you see her on the street one day again, act like you don't know her.

2. The kid is yours - You are now in damage control phase. Like one of the bro pointed out, paper cannot cover fire; you rather poke the balloon now rather than when the balloon have already grow out of proportion then blow it.
You have to sincerely come clean with your fiancée about this. If she forgive you, she is a keeper. If she leaves you, then you also LL because its really your fault. You can emphasis that its a one time folly mistake, you are not ready to be a father then and you do not wish to keep the child but the lady insisted and gave birth WITH YOU IN THE DARK (i.e., YOU ARE A VICTIM!) with you in the dark. You can snip screenshot of messages exchange as prove to support your case. You can also highlight that you are on the moral high ground all this years as and you are sending her money every month till she can support herself.
Also emphasis that there is no love involved with the thai girl now or ever and you are definitely going to do a clean break with her regardless. If your fiancée really love you and empathize with you, you can even discuss a solution with her on how to deal with the situation.

[sneakyslimy]

Part 2 because my previous reply too long:

On the other hand, you can try to settle things with The thai girl side as follows:
If the initial agreement is that you will only support her till she is able to support herself, then you should nudge her to keep to that promise as in the first place, you have already repeatedly stated that you do not want the child and its morally wrong to use the child (which you insisted to abort), to continuously milk you. Technically, you guys are not married and it is really unfair for you to pay for a mistake continuously and you can just walk away. Use this as a chip and settle with one final lump sum with witness involved as one of the bro suggested above.


PS:
1. Do not ask the thai girl for DNA results as you will suspect that it is forged anyway and you might beat the bush and alert the snake. Do it stealthily.
2. Let me emphasis that damage control phase should only be initiated with the steps above fulfilled IN SEQUENCE (i.e., DNA test > come clean to your girlfriend first, then nego with the thai girl).

Just my 2 cents, goodluck my brother!

[Marmots]

Originally Posted by sneakyslimy

Technically, you guys are not married and it is really unfair for you to pay for a mistake continuously and you can just walk away.

As dude is in Singapore, and he has had a hand in making the child, he will have the legal obligation of supporting the child should it be brought to Singapore Courts. Only question will be how much.

Reminds me of this case in Singapore, where the mother wanted the guy to acknowledge the child, so she can put the father's name on birth cert. But Singapore court declined to compel the man to do a dna test on sound legal reasoning.

The guy and the girl signed an agreement, where if proven he was the father, he will not have to provide for the child after.
He then went and did the test and he was the father.

Mother did an U-turn and went to court with the report.
The courts revoked the agreement between the 2 of them, as private/civil agreement do not have precedence over existing law and ordered the father to pay support.