how to make my FB fall for me?

[gizbabe]

Originally Posted by cocobun

Just tell yourself move on, stay happy, just that simple......it's all in the mind. We don't get to live a thousand years so life and time are too precious to be wasted like this......

You got your beautiful moments with him/her before, that's all you need to keep it and move on......there are so many happy things in life you could do and sometimes I just think that the amount of time in our lifes is not even enough so don't waste it like this staying on the same spot.

Originally Posted by adoe1

Sis, perhaps your question of "how to make my FB fall for me" signals your innate need for 'love'.. a real relationship.

Emotions r complicated.. make an attempt to differentiate whether u r really developing something for this FB OR u r seeking 'love'.

If u r developing feelings for your FB, best to end it asap.. otherwise it can be detrimental to your psyche.. u want him yet cannot have him cos married.

If u r seeking love, then start expanding your circle of friends to find a suitable bf. Better to start of non-sexual then when u r sure then sexual. About sexual experimentation, it can be taught to anyone. For eg, it took me a while before I learn how to make a lady squirt. Your new bf can be taught.. via internet or from u.

Good luck in making sense of your feelings.

*clap*clap*clap* Agree! Good advice there!!!

Originally Posted by kengohchien

somehow I have tried a few times to put an end to it but have failed. it is always easier to tell myself to just stop thinking of the consequences and just go on with the flow. and indeed, being with him makes me happy - i looked forward to our lunches, our quick breakfasts, our ''romps''. many people say that to be loved means that you are blessed. thinking about it, i sometimes think the reverse is true - being loved just places a burden on you; you may feel required to reciprocate, you need to think of how to make someone else happy. or perhaps i just haven't been loved enough before. but loving someone - you feel happy whenever you are with him or her, you cannot grasp hold enough of time to be satisfied with his or her company, and you would want to do so much for him or her - i used to remind him to take his pills, to buy him little things like cough drops. for a long while, i was just content to love him silently, or even if that wasn't love enough, it was what i thought was love.

but now, too many things have shown me that he doesn't love me. correction, i actually knew that he didn't love me from the start - which is why i started this thread. but i don't think i'm wrong in expecting a certain degree of care and concern to be given back to me in return. of course i went into this fully aware that perhaps he just wanted my body and nothing else. but it hurts when i feel that he doesn't even really care for me. even a friend would care for me, just like how my gay friend told me - i saw how happy you were with him, and i told you to continue because i wanted you to be happy. it is such a pure platonic love that i could have teared.

i really don't wish to share here about the details or why i think he doesn't even remotely care about me. but those who have read this thread, i hope you've at least judged that I'm rationale and reasonable and i can judge if someone cares for me or not.

so now i'm trying to minimise contact first, but it is hard. i was watching 千方百计 just now and cheesy though it was, the scene where jacelyn tay died in Christopher Lee's arms had me tearing because she said that she was happy even if she had to die because at the end it meant that he wasn't dead (or something like that- i can't remember because i was already crying). i was thinking that at least she had a fighting tiny chance that he might love her whereas i have nothing - i am nobody and i stand no chance. so that is why i cried.

right now, i am starting to learn to smell the roses and appreciate a simple life. like how walking along orchard alone and watching the new Xmas decors can cheer me after a long day. that i have to learn that life doesn't comprise of him alone, or big cars or expensive hotels. it wasn't all these that endears me to him - he never once gave me any money or gifts. i suppose some may find me silly, really, but i was never coerced and i did it because i loved him - so that much, i've kept my conscience clear.

aiyoh. i know, this is so unbecoming to post this emo-creep stuff in a *GASP* sex forum. but i know there are nice people here. plus i kind of need to be heard and have no one else to pour it out to. don't mind me.

Hey babe, from my experience, most woman usually transfer their love, so maybe you can start looking around for someone else then slowly transfer your love and attention over?

Can start by meeting up with some bros here...... Aren't you guys happy with my advice?

[Kengohchien1]

It took me so long to find this thread again! Oh my God, it's been a decade! I'm still alive! Didn't kill myself or him. Chuckles. Oh yes, I sometimes wanted to.

I finally moved on 5 years ago. I realised what it was not to live on someone's scraps of time. I realised what it was to not have to cry yourself to sleep most nights. I found that my thoughts could be of my own.

I have two little ones now. A boy and a girl. Life is not perfect and I wouldn't say it's a happy ending, but I am grateful for the chance to live it beyond someone. Am also much fatter, flabbier and there are wrinkles on my forehead. White hairs sprouting too. Sigh.

Is everyone still here? Perhaps most are now into familyhood. I just want to pen down my thanks, ten years too late - thank you for your time ten years ago, listening, penning or rather typing your advice and the spell of wanting me to be happier. It was a dark moment in my life but it is past. It will always be part of me but I am bigger than it.

[larue]

You sound contented. Happy even.

Interestingly that was a dark period in my life too and I have a thread about that from way back too.

Good for us both then. Happy ending even if my ending went the very opposite direction of yours.

[dadbod40]

Wow, thanks for coming back to update your post sis.
You took me on a 10 year journey in the last hour reading through your thread.

I hope you've found your true love (sounds like you did with the family), but just for the sake of closure, maybe you'd like to update us on what eventually happened and how you moved on? ��

[Ladyrain]

Already is fb still need to attempt to try how to fall? Defeats the purpose of being an fb.. no?

[melvin8341]

i will not want to fall inlove with FB.

[siri]

very happy for u TS, because you are contended now. I hope you find joy in your little ones, and to many more to come.

[yaowaratboy]

Originally Posted by Ladyrain

Already is fb still need to attempt to try how to fall? Defeats the purpose of being an fb.. no?

i agree, the purpose of a FB is so you have no commitments and still can fool around. but i guess he wants to be committed to his FB and want his FB to be committed to him.

[yaowaratboy]

Originally Posted by melvin8341

i will not want to fall inlove with FB.

yup i think so too

[kengohchien]

Hello everyone! And Happy 2023. Hope the New Year's been good to all even if it's likely that those entering this section of the forum is likely to be erring on the wrong side of sex.

Haha, for those of you who were kind enough to read through the thread and drop a note, it was nice to hear from you and feel `heard'.

I just thought I would share a little in the spirit of hearing from one another.

I will probably get slammed by some, but contrary to what can be inferred by my happy family sorta sharing earlier, I wasn't in love with the man I married. I was, by my own sense, in love with the HIM in this thread.

But all along, I have been more of a pessimist even before I met (let's call him) A. To me, love erodes over time and in the mundanity of life. I suppose I wanted kids more in the sense that it is what every other normal person does than because of a love for children and a want to nurture the young. So yes, a conformist because I lack the courage to be different and justify to others on why. I did even tell an ex-colleague that we should not marry the person we love, for marriage would erode the love over time. And it is good enough to marry a person you can live with and that companionable relationship might even bloom over time.

Does anyone agree with me?

My husband is a good man I suppose. Yes, I did not love him when I married him. We don't actually have much sex now. I wouldn't be lying if I said the carefree and best-sex days were spent with A. But he was married (still is), and all good things must come to an end, especially in our case. If I stayed on with him and dedicated myself to him without ever giving myself a chance of marriage and children, I don't think I would have turned out normal like today. I would have likely ended in a train wreck (possible suicide or a murderer- yes, at breaking point I did think of murdering him to end us).

So just as well things turned out as they did. I was still in love with him until I gave birth to my daughter. 2017. Wow. That is a good half a decade pining after him. I am one faithful FB, hah.

And after my daughter was born, my love grew to her and I assimilated into being part of a normal family - Dad, Mum and Baby. And it was nice to sink myself into normality and being a mother. Day by day, I clung to this life, seeking comfort in being the provider of comfort to my daughter and appreciating the care and love from my husband. And slowly, the pain, anger and love for A ebbed away and today I would say it is not even a mere shadow.

I say love - because I think I really did love him. There will be naysayers who say that love lasts forever and if he is so easily replaceable by a newborn then it wasn't love in the first place. I believe there are many different layers of love and mine was a giving one, I gave till resentment and anger broke through. It wasn't an unconditional one, but I was ready to give whatever I could. I didn't need him to leave his family, but I sure wanted him to love me back, when he couldn't and wouldn't.

But that is half a decade past and water under the bridge. I am not uber content right now but this is the life I know and must lead. The house is always in a mess. My boy is coming to his Terrible Twos and being sticky. My daughter is sometimes acts like an Angsty Toddler, but such is how life pans out.

If you ask me if I regret the 5 years as an FB where most might say I wasted my time, I'd say that we are all the sum of our experiences and how we face them. If that was what life dealt me, it has shaped me to what I am today. At 40, I think half my life is already probably possibly over. There's more to life than holding on to hate and broken relationships.

But I digress and I think I might have been too mellow. It was nice hearing from people again 10 years after I left this thread!

Perhaps my mini-reflection will evoke some memories of past loves/FB relationships that put a smile on your face today. : )

[warringparrot]

Originally Posted by kengohchien

Hello everyone! And Happy 2023. Hope the New Year's been good to all even if it's likely that those entering this section of the forum is likely to be erring on the wrong side of sex.

Haha, for those of you who were kind enough to read through the thread and drop a note, it was nice to hear from you and feel `heard'.

I just thought I would share a little in the spirit of hearing from one another.

I will probably get slammed by some, but contrary to what can be inferred by my happy family sorta sharing earlier, I wasn't in love with the man I married. I was, by my own sense, in love with the HIM in this thread.

But all along, I have been more of a pessimist even before I met (let's call him) A. To me, love erodes over time and in the mundanity of life. I suppose I wanted kids more in the sense that it is what every other normal person does than because of a love for children and a want to nurture the young. So yes, a conformist because I lack the courage to be different and justify to others on why. I did even tell an ex-colleague that we should not marry the person we love, for marriage would erode the love over time. And it is good enough to marry a person you can live with and that companionable relationship might even bloom over time.

Does anyone agree with me?

My husband is a good man I suppose. Yes, I did not love him when I married him. We don't actually have much sex now. I wouldn't be lying if I said the carefree and best-sex days were spent with A. But he was married (still is), and all good things must come to an end, especially in our case. If I stayed on with him and dedicated myself to him without ever giving myself a chance of marriage and children, I don't think I would have turned out normal like today. I would have likely ended in a train wreck (possible suicide or a murderer- yes, at breaking point I did think of murdering him to end us).

So just as well things turned out as they did. I was still in love with him until I gave birth to my daughter. 2017. Wow. That is a good half a decade pining after him. I am one faithful FB, hah.

And after my daughter was born, my love grew to her and I assimilated into being part of a normal family - Dad, Mum and Baby. And it was nice to sink myself into normality and being a mother. Day by day, I clung to this life, seeking comfort in being the provider of comfort to my daughter and appreciating the care and love from my husband. And slowly, the pain, anger and love for A ebbed away and today I would say it is not even a mere shadow.

I say love - because I think I really did love him. There will be naysayers who say that love lasts forever and if he is so easily replaceable by a newborn then it wasn't love in the first place. I believe there are many different layers of love and mine was a giving one, I gave till resentment and anger broke through. It wasn't an unconditional one, but I was ready to give whatever I could. I didn't need him to leave his family, but I sure wanted him to love me back, when he couldn't and wouldn't.

But that is half a decade past and water under the bridge. I am not uber content right now but this is the life I know and must lead. The house is always in a mess. My boy is coming to his Terrible Twos and being sticky. My daughter is sometimes acts like an Angsty Toddler, but such is how life pans out.

If you ask me if I regret the 5 years as an FB where most might say I wasted my time, I'd say that we are all the sum of our experiences and how we face them. If that was what life dealt me, it has shaped me to what I am today. At 40, I think half my life is already probably possibly over. There's more to life than holding on to hate and broken relationships.

But I digress and I think I might have been too mellow. It was nice hearing from people again 10 years after I left this thread!

Perhaps my mini-reflection will evoke some memories of past loves/FB relationships that put a smile on your face today. : )

There really is many different kinds of love. there is no text book answer love should be this way. individually we all react different to what we feel love is so we cannot say u are right or wrong.

my opinion is everything is a choice, do not do things you will regret or will harm people.

[LauYewTee]

You know, thats actually interesting. I guess marriage is a mix of give and take. But do you truly not think about A at all?

I find myself gratifying towards my ex who had great sex with about 10 years ago. Somehow with the wife, it does not seem the same as with the ex and I sometimes do wonder if she(ex) feels the same way, though, I know she has had a couple after me.
I had not thought about her since my second was born, but the memories started to surface for some reason.

So, are your feelings truly over? Or are they just distracted?
It will be nice to finally move on from it, life is after all, nothing but a void at the end.

[channelnewsasia]

we all will get tempted, attracted, find the grass is greener on the other side blah blah blah etc etc etc...

we cannot 100% follow our hearts. its all rubbish talk to "justify" break ups, cheating, etc.

it is a CHOICE. i am not the perfect guy. i cheat. i sleep around. but i made that choice.

good guys who do not cheat also get tempted etc. the difference is they make the choice not to.

[LauYewTee]

Originally Posted by channelnewsasia

we all will get tempted, attracted, find the grass is greener on the other side blah blah blah etc etc etc...

we cannot 100% follow our hearts. its all rubbish talk to "justify" break ups, cheating, etc.

it is a CHOICE. i am not the perfect guy. i cheat. i sleep around. but i made that choice.

good guys who do not cheat also get tempted etc. the difference is they make the choice not to.

Thanks , this is very well said.

[Grogu]

Originally Posted by channelnewsasia

we all will get tempted, attracted, find the grass is greener on the other side blah blah blah etc etc etc...

we cannot 100% follow our hearts. its all rubbish talk to "justify" break ups, cheating, etc.

it is a CHOICE. i am not the perfect guy. i cheat. i sleep around. but i made that choice.

good guys who do not cheat also get tempted etc. the difference is they make the choice not to.

There is only one choice when 精虫上脑