Bro TS,
Firstly, sorry to hear about your divorce. I am certain that you can recover from it.
I hope you won't mind what i share with you because i feel that it's for your own good.
I think that you are not in any condition to get involved in any relationships as of now,because..you are drained emotional. you are unstable. I reckon that the main reason why you are getting into relationships so soon is just to fill the empty void that you have been missing. But as you can see, that is not such a good idea.
As for the gal, i do not know her personally but from what you shared, i gather that she is one misguided and confused individual. And if i am you, i wont have anything else to do with her. She just wants to have the best of both worlds, yourself and her bf..ex bf or wateva shit. Just dump her, and if i am in your shoes, i would just concentrate on things that are much more productive and rewarding (Sammyboyforum is productive and rewarding), i.e my career. To a man, a career is his runway, once your career is settled, take your time to know ladies. But meanwhile take time to mourn and heal first.
As for the bf, ever heard of the number 999? Singapore is governed by laws so, don't need to worry. From what this fella says, it's clear that he has shit for brains.. we are in 2011 Singapore now, back 20 years, maybe still possible to play whatever gangster stuff. So my advice is, heck care him.
And yeah, meeting him is not a good idea.
i am not telling you to behave like a coward, but be smart.
Just my humble 2 cents worth!