[benjm85]

Originally Posted by Penguin23

Your gf already told you, that she is in Singapore hoping for a relationship with a view to marriage.

Do you understand what this really means? I may be over-thinking here, but having been involved with a few Viet girls and knowing some basic Viet (and thankful to have a great Viet tuition teacher!), let me probably share some cultural lessons which I learnt the hard way. I wish I knew some of these things earlier on in my relationship(s), which would have saved me much heartache.

If your gf thinks in Viet, but speaks in English (the huge majority of them do), the choice of words carry a lot of meaning. Viet is a high-context language, vs English which is a low-context language. English speakers seldom need to infer "hidden" meanings behind the words used because the explicit meaning is contained in the word choice. Viets communicate differently, their language has a much smaller vocabulary so they communicate the nuances in meaning through context, and not through word choice. Viets are very comfortable using words with a high level of ambiguity, expecting the recipient to consider the context and infer the "true meaning" of what they really want to say. If you ever see two Viets chat with each other, it is like watching people speak a variant of Hanyu Pinyin - very very short words, but full of meaning and context. This key difference in communication method, is one of the main sources of misunderstandings between Viet/SG couples.

To put it bluntly - your gf is telling you that she wants a husband. Women who have that wish, usually never give up on that hope. They want a husband, kids, a normal family. Meaning, she will always be on the lookout for suitable guy(s), and from time to time when someone suitable walks into her life, she will go for several "test drives" and you will find yourself having a "gf" who is fucking someone else.

If you are holding on to this relationship in the slim hope that she will accept the "compromise" which is you - then you must emotionally accept the fact that one day she will leave. Unless you are willing to have a kid with her, and support her financially (which you already indicated, that you can't).

Sorry to be so pessimistic, but these are inconvenient truths and it is better to highlight and face the reality - better the ugly truth than the beautiful lie

All the best

Understood bro. I have also tell her to look out for potential guy who is single and can marry her, because I think she is still hoping that there will br changes to my marital situation with my wife.
Right now, I just enjoying her companionship whenever she is here. One day if she ever find someone new, I will wish her the best.