I said it calmly, but an undercurrent of seething anger was there, and he sensed it.
His body stiffened as he searched me. “Okay,” he said slowly, his face horribly confused as to why I was such a different person than the woman he had tenderly made love to, just this morning.
Remembering all of the intimate moments we had shared, and unfairly mixing them with all of the intimate moments I’d imagined him having with another woman on the drive over, I shoved his chest away from me. He took a step back, looking hurt. “Carrie,” was all I said, seeing if he’d instinctually know what I was talking about.
I glanced at Alanna, but she looked hopelessly lost. That made me feel a little better. Maybe I wasn’t alone in my ignorance. Teren looked hopelessly lost too…at first. “Carr-” His eyes widened and I knew the exact moment he realised he’d just been busted. “Oh god, Emma.” He shook his head and walked over to me, putting his hands on my upper arms. “I can explain.”
I shoved him away from me again, as if he’d just confirmed every intimate act that I’d imagined of them. “You can explain getting another woman pregnant!” Teren took a step back, a hand going up to his mouth while the other ran back through his hair.
“What? Teren?” Alanna came over to stand beside me, her cool hand over my arm as she stared incredulously at her son. I put my hand over hers, grateful that not everyone had kept this secret from me, just my husband apparently. Jack walked into the room, now filled with a horrid tension, and stood still in the hallway that led to the kitchen. He looked between me, his wife and his son, and seemed unsure if he should stay or not. As I was still fuming, I really didn’t care which choice he made.
Teren looked at his mother when she questioned him, then upstairs to where Imogen was probably questioning him too. Keeping his eyes up there he finally said, “I’ll explain.” He brought his panicked eyes back down to me. “Just let me explain.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and nodded. I wanted to tap my foot too, but felt that was a little dramatic, so I stood as still and rigid as I possibly could. Teren made a move towards me, but seeing my clear tension, sighed and stopped where he was, next to the crying woman statue. His face sort of matched hers.
“We were young, Emma, just kids.” He shrugged and glanced at his mother before returning his eyes to mine. “We dated a few months and then…she got pregnant.” He whispered the word, like him saying it out loud was somehow more horrid than me yelling it. And in a way, it was. I cringed as the words left his lips. I bit my own to keep back the tears stinging my eyes. He took in my turmoil and sighed. “She lost it, Emma. She didn’t even make it eight weeks before she miscarried.” He shrugged his shoulders. “There is no baby.”
My arms crossed over my chest flew to my sides, my hands clenched so tight my fingernails dug into my palms. “Why did you never mention this to me?”
He shrugged again, his face looking sad and unsure what to say. Shaking his head, he repeated, “There is no baby.”
I looked away from him as my anger ebbed and surged. I couldn’t control the waves of emotion and looking at his torn face was only making the sensation worse. I needed to ride out this tidal wave of anger before speaking again, or I may try and tear off that secretive mouth.
Alanna took my silence to speak to her son. “Carrie?” she said slowly, stepping up to him. “Who is Carrie?” I turned to watch her as she walked up to him, hands on her hips.
He sighed, looking up at the ceiling and closing his eyes for a second, looking for all the world like he was about to have a conversation that he had never intended to have with his family. He opened his eyes and looked back down at her. “We dated in high school.”
Alanna scrunched her brows. “I don’t remember a Carrie in high school. I don’t remember you being serious with anyone, not until college.”
Teren looked at the ground while Jack stepped up to his wife’s side, grabbing one hand from her hip and holding it. Her entire posture relaxed. Without looking up at her, Teren said, “I didn’t tell you about her. I didn’t want any of you to know.”
Alanna looked like Teren had just slapped her. He guiltily looked up at her and spoke a long Russian sentence. Her face turned mildly softer and she shook her head and put a hand on his cheek.
Irritated that her irritation was leaving her, I spat out, “You should have told me, Teren.”
His eyes came back to mine. “I know, I’m sorry.”
Alanna turned to look at me, her eyes pink with unshed tears. “You saw her today? In town?”
I nodded. “She’s visiting or something. She won’t be here long, but she wanted to see Teren once she found out he was here.” My eyes shifted to him as my tone dripped with venom. “She says hi, by the way.”
He closed his eyes at that but opened them immediately when Alanna spoke again. “We’ll need to tell Halina, she’ll want to see the girl.”
“No!”
The heat in Teren’s tone when he said that shocked Alanna and me. We both turned to look at him, his dad giving him a puzzled look as well. “Teren, she can’t be allowed to know-”
Teren shook his head and grabbed his mother’s arms, cutting her off. “She doesn’t know. She never found out.”
Alanna raised an eyebrow at him, surprised. “You didn’t tell her what you were, when she got pregnant?”
He shook his head again and anger surged through me at hearing that stupid p-word again. “I thought you wouldn’t bring anyone into this unknowingly. Isn’t that what you said to me?”
He cringed and stepped away from his mother to finally step up to me again. Cautiously he put his hands over my arms, sliding them all the way down to my fingers, trying to relax me. All it did though was remind me that he’d probably slid his hands down that woman’s arms in this exact same way, comforting her when she realised she was with child - his child. I bristled at the contact and he sighed.