[Vulvacious]

EMILY'S POV

I can never fathom how the 16 year-old me had so much time and money to squander away on movies. But I guess all those hard-earned savings and time spent, not looking at the screens, but at each others’ faces were well-spent. I finally managed to elicit a “Wow! You’re getting really really good at this!” from him.

By this point in time, we had become a couple and were well into the second month of our relationship. Many would term this as the honeymoon stage of a relationship. Whatever it was called, I was certainly the happiest I’ve been in all my 16 years. However, at the peak, all it takes is a single push, to send us falling.

The push came in the form of our O levels results.

We had always known, deep down, that it would be really tough for us to carry on dating if we were not in the same school. Commitments in school would definitely make meeting up very trying in the long run.

4 years of studying for this mere piece of paper yet as I sat through the long speech made by the principal, all I could think of was not my results that I had put in so much effort for, but rather that of Jacob’s.

I heaved a sigh of relief when I checked my results and after replying the incessant text messages from concerned family members and meddlesome friends, I was disappointed to not have heard a word from Jacob.

I was contemplating texting him, when my phone rang. It was Jacob.

J: Hey, how did you do?

I gave him my L1R5.

J: Wow, so I guess you’ll be staying in XJC.

Me: Yeah, what about you?

J: 19

Me: Oh. You’ll be going to Y Poly right? That’s great then.

J: Oh please, you don’t know shit. Do you know with your grades, you will be the top student at my school? You’ve got looks, you’ve got grades, you’re up there, you will never know how I feel, I don’t need your words.

I was really taken aback. Jacob had never spoken to me that way before and I also never realised that beneath his confident disposition, he actually felt inferior (?) to me. I tried to reason out with him.

Me: No! I’m really happy for you. We both know you don’t like the sort of subjects offered in JC. So it’s good, isn’t it? That you’ll be studying something you have a passion for instead of simply wasting 2 years in JC. I have tons of friends going to poly too for the exact same reason, they just don’t want to waste 2 years when they can go straight into what they like.

J: Ya, and steal all our places in poly.

I started to say something but he cut me off.

J: My mom is calling now. Talk to you later. Bye

And he hung up.

I texted him twice with no replies.

When my third text failed to incite a reply from him, I decided that perhaps he needed some space. So I stopped trying to contact him.

It was only much later in the evening that I received a message from him.

J: Hey… I’m terribly sorry about what happened this afternoon. I know I’m not good enough for you and I was just really really afraid of losing you. You know all my “bros” I’ve met in XJC, they always tease me about you and tell me how lucky I am. But I know they aren’t joking. When I close my eyes, all I see is you back in XJC and I see those “friends” wooing you. How can I possibly compare with them? But I’m okay now, don’t worry =) I was talking to my mum and she was telling me to just take things as they come. If we’re meant to be, we’ll be and I don’t have to worry myself silly over it right now. She would love to meet you someday. I’m really sorry again about just now, it was just my fear and everything else consuming me and I’m very sorry for taking it out on you... I promise to make it up to you… if you let me. You’re right… Singapore is small. We’ll find a way =)

Me: Please don’t worry about it. I’m just so glad you’re okay. Yeah, your mum is right. We don’t have to worry about it now. I’d love to meet her someday too (:

J: How about tonight?

Me: ?

J: You can meet my mum tonight if you want. I’m out with my sec sch friends right now but they’ll be sleeping over at my place tonight. You can join too!

Me: Haha, it’s alright lah. I don’t want to intrude.

J: Just join us! There’ll be girls... It’ll be okay… My friends want to meet you too. It’ll make me really happy =)

Me: Are you sure your parents wouldn’t mind? I don’t have clothes to change into anyway. Maybe another day?

J: They’re really cool one… Don’t worry! You can wear my sister’s clothes. Just come okay? I’ll meet you at 8pm at XXX Station?

Me: Haha alright alright. I’ll just let my mum know.

After telling my mum that I’ll be sleeping over at Olivia’s tonight, I headed to meet J, thinking that it would just be an innocent overnight gathering since his friends would all be there.

Boy, was I so wrong.