[vanram]

Hi guys,

Was reading what was said and feel that everyone seems to make sense in his own way. I've been married 3 times. the previous marriages were ended by me on my terms and very amicably. I'm still in talking terms with my exes and we even have outings once in a while.

I have 2 kids with my first and one with my second and 1 with my third. My current has 2 from a previous marriage. All the kids stay with me and visit their mums once in a while. We are very happy and have been married for 8 years now and all the kids get along. I feel it's all up to us as individuals to make things work and happen for us.

I have never believed in staying in a marriage for the sake of the kids. If I'm not happy, the kids will never be. Imagine the kind of enviroment they will be in, seeing their parents not getting along, the fights, the mess, not condusive for growing children. if it does'nt work, don't force it. we were born to be happy. Maybe she thinks like this also..?

Anyway, given a choice, i would rather live together for a few years, instead of getting married, before making it final on paper. I lived together with my third for 4 years before getting hitched.

The reason for the paper?? Our Gov... You need it for HDB, school, hospital and so forth. The kids feel better when they know that their parents are legal. it still has a stigma attached to it eventually, our culture, i guess.
Good luck TS, everyone has a reason for doing stuff like this, just sort out yours before making the plunge. If the men can do it, so can the women.

Remember, nobody knows the pain, the nail in your beautiful pair of shoes, is causing you, except you.. No one can see it, all they see is the outward appearance, so finally, you have to be at peace and make a decision on your own. You know the situation best.

Vanram