[Xyberduke]

Originally Posted by papachan

hi,

would like to seek some advise from you guys....

I gotten married in 2012 and a kid came along in 2013. we had a quarrel due to my debts with the banks, and later i found out she's having an affair and despite the talks and I'm willing to give chance to reconcile, she still seeing the man.

the thing is if I want to see my kid, it all depends on her mood. meaning to say, I can't make her angry be it from quarrels or anything she sees or hears.


Can I file divorce under adultery now or do I have to wait for the min requirements of 3yrs to be up before I can do that?

Thanks.

1. Whether you quarrelled over your debts is irrelevant. When exactly did you get yourself in debt and are you still in debt? Keep this in mind as it will backfire against you as she can file for divorce based on unreasonable behaviour.
2. You need to engage a PI to gather evidence on her adultery and file for divorce immediately. This post of yours may backfire against you because you stated "you found out" instead of "you suspect", if she finds the post. Saving grace was that you did not post the date of when you found out. You may have found out the day you were posting. Do understanding that everything expires after 6 months. i.e. if you found out that she has an affair and do nothing for 6 months, you can no longer use it as a reason. But if you suspect and engage a PI to gather evidence and the PI comes back later than 6 months, it's a different story.
3. You can file for divorce under unreasonable behaviour or adultery any time.

NOW, ASK YOURSELF. IF YOU CARE FOR YOUR CHILD, IS DIVORCE THE RIGHT WAY TO GO? I SAW THAT YOU WANT TO RECONCILE, SO PLEASE DO SO WHILE YOU ENGAGE A PI TO GATHER EVIDENCE, SO THAT WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, YOU USE THAT EVIDENCE TO GET CUSTODY OF YOUR CHILD AND GIVE YOUR CHILD A GOOD LIFE.

But are you able to clear your debts, financially fight a divorce case and give your child a reasonable childhood? If not, is it better to let your wife have custody?

In any case, it's extremely bad for a child to grow up to parents that have affairs or don't love each other, so you need to either end that affair that your wife has or end your marriage. This is the hard truth. For the latter, once the marriage has ended, your child would know what has happened and could grow up better as he/she could associate what is happening around him and not assume that parents naturally don't love each other or could have affairs.


Also, think for your child at every stage, not the position of lawyers, not the position of others. Your life is already screwed, you just need to press RESET for yourself painfully while your child should transit seamlessly to his/her next phase of life.