Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

I am new here, just want to share my experience and maybe get some advice from the brothers and sisters out here.

I had this very good friend from secondary school. We used to study together, chill out together and stuff like that.

After O Levels we both went to different schools, (she went to JC and I went to poly), but we still kept in contact and went out regularly.

I wouldn't say I liked her like a girlfriend but there was this attraction.

We often went pubbing together, Kalture at Purvis St. was one of our fav. hangouts.

However, one night about two years ago, we just had a drinking session and I sent her home in a taxi. I think we were both high or drunk or something. She started teasing me in the taxi.

I can't really remember what happened after that but she told me her parents were overseas (she's an only child), and she asked me to stay over at her place.

We both must have been really drunk as I cannot remember what happened except that I woke up naked next to her and there were some stains on her bedsheet.

She woke up a little while after and we both didn't say anything. Maybe it was because we were embarrassed or something.

I left awhile later.

In the weeks that followed, she never replied to my sms, or msn msgs and didn't answer when I called her on the phone. I even emailed her asking what's wrong. But she didn't reply.

One day I got an sms from her and all she said was "sorry abt that nite".

And after that we totally lost touch.

So what I am wondering is,

why is it so hard to remain friends?

I had the impression that we were pretty good friends.

Does sex really spoil the friendship?

What can I do to salvage the friendship, if there even is one left?

Last I heard, she left for Australia to further her studies.

Till this day, she still doesn't reply to my msgs.

I am quite sad to lose her as a friend.

Comments and Advice are welcome.

Thanks.

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

u totally wrecked it bro...maybe can try asking her to be your gf and tell her you've liked her for a long time? that might make her feel more respected as she will feel like at least that nite she didn't make love with some guy who just wants sex but did at least love her...juz my 2 cents worth...good day :)

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

agree on tis point. i guess she's feeling "cheap" tat's y didn't contact u anymore.

tink u should go look for her in person. things will b a lot easier to solve.

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

Errrrrr......maybe u are so lousy in bed that she avoid u???
hehehe......just joking hor.... :p

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

wah...u damn mean :eek:

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

Bro,
You like that cannot lah... why must sms or call, why can't you just wait for her at her house one or two days that screwing issues happen :confused:
Talk to her face to face.

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

Waaaaaaa, I didn't know that in SG they allow JC and poly to go pubbing and drinking, etc, etc. KNN even in LOS they don't allow underage ppl to go in.

Either Singapore must be very liberal or what? :confused:

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

Even got Sec sch gals go pubbing & drinking without checks at some areas...for those with mature looks and reasonably tall...

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

Singapore more liberal than USA leh...there only 21 den can drink but Sg 18 can drink liao...haha

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

the best way is to fly to australia and surprise her...err...if u can find out where she is overthere.

wonder why u didn'y went up to her place when she ignored u.

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

maybe she has been slapping herself silly condemning why she had to sleep with a loser she deserve better and there are lots of better catch out there.

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

quite a lot of mean ppl here leh...i think next time i got prob i oso dun dare post liao...haha :confused:

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

er i am telling the truth, she is studing U in Aus, while he only had a diploma and had to get enlisted soon. when she is back the minimum she will have would be a degree and maybe a boyfriend who had a degree as well, if rich lagi better. what would he have? can ORD heng liao maybe he only sign on as regular max. Virginity to a girl is very important, she loss it to someone who she had no intention to spend her life with, that is very bad. it is easy to for you to say that i am mean had any of you spare a though for the girl. if you were the ger you would ask me to slap you

dun give me the excuse you are drunk or high if you know how to undress and had some whoopee, you are more sober than a lot of newbie here

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

threadstarter oso never say his friend is virgin ma...i believe that that night she'll be too drunk to remember anything the next morning anyway so that maybe the initial awkwardness will wear off after a period of time? So what if she gets a bf over there? She's fully entitled to her freedom as she does not have the liability to be attached to you even if you bedded her b4...so if you get to find her one day, whatever the outcome would be you've gotta accept it bro and don't dwell too much into it. :)

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

You should be glad that she didn't report it to the police bout it...

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

yep.. 3 yrs ago got such a case in nus.. the girl reported rape..

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

C'mon.. The gal could not be feigning innocence when she asked a guy to go to her place becos her parents were not home. The way I see it, she was probably disappointed to know that the guy chose to act blur after realising what he had done.

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

Possible...

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

If u are really drunk, do u think u still have the energy to have sex?
U see those ppl drunk in pubs? U kick them they also no feeling ar...Still can have sex meh.....
I think most probably are are onli high.........
The way u describe is like u wan to defend yourself by saying u are drunk....
Maybe she drunk, and u rape her leh? Come on, u have to admit u are horny, that night got alcohol anot also result same....
IMO, i think u can 4get abt her.....no chance liao...

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

haha...at least he still remember to pull out in time...or else he might have a child too

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

Ya lor...drunk liao still remember to pull out sia......
Maybe we can PM him for ONS contact...haha :D

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

haha sorry bro...i prefer to hunt for my own ONS :cool:

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

I am easyeasy not meanmean, so whatever I imply is for the benefit of the bros here. whatever I say take it easy :)

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

Maybe she feels bad about sleeping with you? She might not feel good that she had casual sex with a guy and so seeing you would remind her of what happened? Just my guess but if you do have serious feelings for the girl then you should go all out for her.

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

Bro, based from my experience, this ger must feel herself that she is cheap..... don dare to answer you....she is the 1 who horny and wan to ML.... bro, just a ques to ask u...........DO YOU LOVE HER TRUELY? if you are, give her a call and tell her I LOVE YOU, from the day we started till now, I truely miss u alot.........then you fly to Australia and find her lah...If you not......then don bother lah..........since she already upset on that nite. :p

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

bro young,i know wat happened liao lah,tat nite when u were drunk,she asked her frenz to cum and raped u and she take photo :eek: .After tat she feel 2 shame doing tis to u ...... :D but u really cant remember whether both of u had sez a not mah???

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

is it the same when a couple brokeup after spending few yrs 2gether, been thru some storm but nw breakliao like strangers...

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

the fact that she sms you back that way showed that she regretted to have allowed it to happen that nite between both of you....and if your friend is not one that is into sleeping around with diff guys, she would find it hard to forgive herself?

Perhaps keeping a distance from you would be easier on her conscience. Hopefully time will ease her sense of guilt towards her action and you.

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

no offence taken from any of the brothers comments.

firstly, she was not a virgin.. (but i dunno if she sleeps around)

and yes, Kalture did allow underaged people in, i went there when i was 16.

and she's rich and didnt mind hanging out with me even though i m not.

i m just upset that i lost someone i considered a close friend.

and flying to australia would be out of the question. i guess i will haf to wait until she comes back. if she comes back.

Re: Why is it so hard to remain friends?
 

dat one i duno bah.. but for me.. hmm juz went thru a breakup recently.. my gf of 6 mths left me.. u can consider 6 mths short la.. but i really love her alot.. well.. i can only say dat we are like strangers now.. almost a mth nvr msg, nv +++ le.. haiz.. saddening.. i miss her pussy.