Originally Posted by Penguin23 (Post 22804216)

As a couple of other bros have said, KTV girls are human too. They yearn for love, just like other normal girls but they are above all very realistic about what they need to do at work, and their mummies will tell them to always separate work from personal life.

Having been in a steady relationship with an ex-KTV girl for the last 5 years, I can say that coming to a place like Singapore to work and earn money is a rite of passage for many girls who are all in need of money. True, they don't come here specifically looking for love, but many want it - and if the right person presents himself, they will give the relationship a shot. Yes, there are many ex-KTV girls that I know who decide to "try out" working in a KTV on their social visit pass, purely to sit and play cards, without humsup - they quickly find out that they are not cut out for the work, and so they quit and never return.


For you and your viet "gf" - you need to ask yourself a tough question. Given that you are already married and I assume your girl isn't, what sort of future do you foresee for you and her?

More seriously, do you really understand her motivations for coming back? How much money does she really hope to make, and what does she want to do after that? If she doesn't share the answers to these questions with you, she is not your gf.

I have a close bro who is married and now maintaining his (unmarried) ex-KTV girl in Vietnam. She lives a normal life, runs a small business and is perfectly happy with her life and her current existence. He considers himself lucky to have met her, and I think they are both fated to meet each other and be together, even it if is only for a few days per month.

I have a similar arrangement, though I am no longer married so for me it is a lot easier to just fly over to see my gf whenever I want. My ex-KTV girl gf was an ang pai at Lido, so her earning power was substantial, yet she chose to quit nightlife on her own accord and to move back to Vietnam. Throughout my relationship with her, I have also abstained from sex with other women and she knows it (and appreciates it).

So there's my final tip for you - for KTV girls, short-term relationships that don't last are the norm. How are you different from her many customers? If you can answer that question, you have a chance of having a serious relationship with the girl. If you don't, and are just looking to reserve her for yourself without regard for her needs, then I think you know what the outcome will be.

All the best

Originally Posted by benjm85 (Post 22808524)

Thanks bro for your advice.
Yes I am married and she understands it is hard for me to get a divorce due to kids. She is ok to remain the current relationship with me as she knows I am also having some marital issues with my wife.

She wants to come back to work ktv to earn more money while she still has the looks and beauty, to save up enough money to set up a shop in hcm. She has been sharing with me her plans on what is her plan and the estimated budget for the business. She also say that it is easier for us to meet if she can stay in singapore long term, as currently she is flying over once a month to meet. (Hard for me to fly over as I am married)

Her 1st stint working in ktv was last year under a 6 months WP, and that was how I get to know her. She frankly told me that she is here to look for lao kong as her cousin successfully found one here and is happily married 😆

I did not reveal the fact that I am married during the 1st 6 months together, and she had the impression that I will marry her. After she knew I am married, she was alittle shock and upset that I lied to her. But she say she can’t bear to give up the relationship.

Originally Posted by benjm85 (Post 22808524)

Thanks bro for your advice.
Yes I am married and she understands it is hard for me to get a divorce due to kids. She is ok to remain the current relationship with me as she knows I am also having some marital issues with my wife.

She wants to come back to work ktv to earn more money while she still has the looks and beauty, to save up enough money to set up a shop in hcm. She has been sharing with me her plans on what is her plan and the estimated budget for the business. She also say that it is easier for us to meet if she can stay in singapore long term, as currently she is flying over once a month to meet. (Hard for me to fly over as I am married)

Her 1st stint working in ktv was last year under a 6 months WP, and that was how I get to know her. She frankly told me that she is here to look for lao kong as her cousin successfully found one here and is happily married 😆

I did not reveal the fact that I am married during the 1st 6 months together, and she had the impression that I will marry her. After she knew I am married, she was alittle shock and upset that I lied to her. But she say she can’t bear to give up the relationship.

Originally Posted by ryanng2020 (Post 22809186)

Many women use marriage to get other benefits. Might think twice before leaving the real wife for ktv ladies. Peace out ✌️

Originally Posted by benjm85 (Post 22808524)

Thanks bro for your advice.
Yes I am married and she understands it is hard for me to get a divorce due to kids. She is ok to remain the current relationship with me as she knows I am also having some marital issues with my wife.

She wants to come back to work ktv to earn more money while she still has the looks and beauty, to save up enough money to set up a shop in hcm. She has been sharing with me her plans on what is her plan and the estimated budget for the business. She also say that it is easier for us to meet if she can stay in singapore long term, as currently she is flying over once a month to meet. (Hard for me to fly over as I am married)

Her 1st stint working in ktv was last year under a 6 months WP, and that was how I get to know her. She frankly told me that she is here to look for lao kong as her cousin successfully found one here and is happily married 😆

I did not reveal the fact that I am married during the 1st 6 months together, and she had the impression that I will marry her. After she knew I am married, she was alittle shock and upset that I lied to her. But she say she can’t bear to give up the relationship.

Originally Posted by Penguin23 (Post 22819403)

Your gf already told you, that she is in Singapore hoping for a relationship with a view to marriage.

Do you understand what this really means? I may be over-thinking here, but having been involved with a few Viet girls and knowing some basic Viet (and thankful to have a great Viet tuition teacher!), let me probably share some cultural lessons which I learnt the hard way. I wish I knew some of these things earlier on in my relationship(s), which would have saved me much heartache.

If your gf thinks in Viet, but speaks in English (the huge majority of them do), the choice of words carry a lot of meaning. Viet is a high-context language, vs English which is a low-context language. English speakers seldom need to infer "hidden" meanings behind the words used because the explicit meaning is contained in the word choice. Viets communicate differently, their language has a much smaller vocabulary so they communicate the nuances in meaning through context, and not through word choice. Viets are very comfortable using words with a high level of ambiguity, expecting the recipient to consider the context and infer the "true meaning" of what they really want to say. If you ever see two Viets chat with each other, it is like watching people speak a variant of Hanyu Pinyin - very very short words, but full of meaning and context. This key difference in communication method, is one of the main sources of misunderstandings between Viet/SG couples.

To put it bluntly - your gf is telling you that she wants a husband. Women who have that wish, usually never give up on that hope. They want a husband, kids, a normal family. Meaning, she will always be on the lookout for suitable guy(s), and from time to time when someone suitable walks into her life, she will go for several "test drives" and you will find yourself having a "gf" who is fucking someone else.

If you are holding on to this relationship in the slim hope that she will accept the "compromise" which is you - then you must emotionally accept the fact that one day she will leave. Unless you are willing to have a kid with her, and support her financially (which you already indicated, that you can't).

Sorry to be so pessimistic, but these are inconvenient truths and it is better to highlight and face the reality - better the ugly truth than the beautiful lie

All the best

Originally Posted by greatstuff (Post 22822103)

I got a few Viet ktv girls ask me for marriage before. but that's only because they want to continue working here. for them money is the most important. don't ever believe they would love you more than they love money.

Originally Posted by benjm85 (Post 22808524)

Thanks bro for your advice.
Yes I am married and she understands it is hard for me to get a divorce due to kids. She is ok to remain the current relationship with me as she knows I am also having some marital issues with my wife.

She wants to come back to work ktv to earn more money while she still has the looks and beauty, to save up enough money to set up a shop in hcm. She has been sharing with me her plans on what is her plan and the estimated budget for the business. She also say that it is easier for us to meet if she can stay in singapore long term, as currently she is flying over once a month to meet. (Hard for me to fly over as I am married)

Her 1st stint working in ktv was last year under a 6 months WP, and that was how I get to know her. She frankly told me that she is here to look for lao kong as her cousin successfully found one here and is happily married 😆

I did not reveal the fact that I am married during the 1st 6 months together, and she had the impression that I will marry her. After she knew I am married, she was alittle shock and upset that I lied to her. But she say she can’t bear to give up the relationship.

Originally Posted by Farfaraway888 (Post 22845654)

Can I ask if it is easy to come to Singapore on a social visit pass after the 6 months WP? How likely will she be denied entry as it looks like she manage to come every month. I have a Viet girlfriend who also ended her 6 months WP so just wondering if it is easy for her to come visit

Originally Posted by pumpypump (Post 22845955)

There needs to be 2~3 months interval between WP and every social visit.

Originally Posted by fallen11 (Post 22848095)

have debunked this for social visit
my viet girl sometimes come monthly
but she is here on genuine visit, not working here.
as long as you have reasonable proof to show you are here on genuine visit, they'll let her enter.

What reasonable proof:
private chat history with singapore family / relative / bf
her immigration history (if got a few time they see her every visit on come a few days and accurately as declared, they not even bother to ask her any question on future visits already)

Originally Posted by fallen11 (Post 22848095)

have debunked this for social visit
my viet girl sometimes come monthly
but she is here on genuine visit, not working here.
as long as you have reasonable proof to show you are here on genuine visit, they'll let her enter.

What reasonable proof:
private chat history with singapore family / relative / bf
her immigration history (if got a few time they see her every visit on come a few days and accurately as declared, they not even bother to ask her any question on future visits already)

Originally Posted by pumpypump (Post 22848724)

I was responding to TS based on his context. His gf is coming here to work.

My advice is from other vb who have successfully come to sg regularly to work.

Technically, anyone from Vietnam can come to Singapore anytime they want and stay up to 30 days for each social visit.

And technically, Singapore Immigration can turn away anyone if they suspect they are coming here for illegal reasons.

Originally Posted by benjm85 (Post 22797393)

Lets talk about KTV girls. I understand they are here to earn as much money as possible. But I am curious how they can condition themselves to entertain different guys on a daily basis. I mean they are also human and have emotions too right? What if they do fall in love with one of the customers? Do they still continue to ply this trade?

Have you ever know of any ktv girls who solely just drink and play games without any extra?